Mr. Madoff, in the previous post you heard what we most want from you…a sincere effort to undo as much damage as you can.
But there’s something else we want from you. Because beyond the enormous financial damage you have done, you have damaged our faith in human nature. A little explanation of why you did this, could go a long way to mending that.
People who have been traumatized spend vast amounts of mental energy trying to make sense of why the trauma happened. Their minds go over circumsances again and again, endlessly trying to piece together a story that would make sense to them. They cannot rest until they do. Theyare seeking to heal their worldview. You can help them stop grieving and move on.
We are stunned. Especially the victims, but not just them, all of us. How could a man of your intelligence and priviledge and heritage do this? Do any of the following explanations fit?
1. The pleasure you got from living so large was so extreme that it exceeded the guilt and fear that came with it. OR
2. For some reason, you just don’t experience the guilt and fear that most people would. OR
3. There was substantial guilt and fear, but you had some way of rationalizing it away, comparmentalizing it away or distancing yourself from it . OR
4. You got a thrill from doing it. OR
5. This was some kind of obsession or addiction. OR
6. You are so deeply insecure that you needed the trappings, the trappings or the validation from being a big shot and living extravigantly. OR
7. You are so deeply selfish that your pleasures outweighed your chagrin at how harmful and unethical you were being. OR
8. You became so fearful of what would happen when you got caught that you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. OR
9. You imagined that you would not get caught, or might die before you got caught.
10. Your are missing some part(s) of the normal repertoire of human feeling and did not really feel bad about what you were doing.
11. You are delusional and did not grasp the reality. OR
12. You are a sociopath. OR
13. Your are just plain evil.
Believe me, I’m not asking this to berate you or criticize you. I’m curious. I’m baffled. I just want to know how to square this with the reasonably sophisticated and nuanced understanding I have of the mind and human nature.
In my life I’ve encountered players, gamblers, ethical weaklings, cowards, liers, theives, delusionals, thrill-seekers, alcoholics, addicts, kleptomaniacs, nymphomaniacs, pyromaniacs, egomaniacs, schizophrenics, co-dependants and bipolars. And of course plenty of people that were deeply immature, deeply insecure, neurotic, selfish, bitter, mean, conflicted and/or confused. Which of these or other categories do you fit in?
I need to know. And I’m not even a victim. I’m sure that when they get beyond some of their disbelief and anger, they will be searching and groping endlessly for some explanation they can understand of what went wrong.
So I’m making a serious request and suggestion. Don’t just stop at trying to get some of the money back. Help us understand what made you act so exceptionally. So we can recover some faith in the better aspects of human nature.